Communication is vital. So why is it that we suck at it? Bill Cosby once said: “Men and women belong to different species, and communication between them is a science still in its infancy.” No statement could be more correct. Argument is by far the worst form of communication, yet it seems as though within every relationship all we know how to do is to “agree to disagree”. This is a mysterious concept that is rarely discussed or attempted to solve. In “Hills Like White Elephants” by Ernest Hemingway, an attempt is made to illustrate the ridiculousness of our inability to communicate properly.

 

Lets face it, there is nothing more typical than a woman uttering the words “I’m fine” when really she is far from. It is a common occurrence that often angers a woman’s significant other, and for good reason. It is a lie told to fend off another, when in most cases, it is a plea for attention. And when the deceiving “I’m fine” is ignored, all hell breaks loose. Even being a woman myself, I do not understand why we feel the need to act in such an unreasonable way. We lie and expect to be rewarded with concern; but consequently, women are not the only sex at fault for miscommunication. “Hills Like White Elephants” effectively demonstrates the lack of communication skills men possess. In the short story, the woman is faced with an unplanned pregnancy that her boyfriend wishes to abort. He believes that it is “…the only thing that bothers [them]. It’s the only thing that’s made [them] unhappy.” (Hemingway, 50). Throughout the dialogue, the man continually assures the woman that to carry through with the operation is what is best for the both of them. He never considers her feelings and lacks any form of empathetic character. The result of this major breakdown in communication is a confused woman looking for answers and a man content to carry on as if no change has occurred. It is a simple as that. Lack of communication destroys relations between those who simply do not understand the concept of proper discussion. Both sexes are equally at fault, and most likely equally angry at one another. Communication needs to be learned, and it must be noted that “You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.” (Indira Gandhi).

 

I cannot tell you why we choose to “agree to disagree”, but I can tell you the idea is far too prevalent to even reflect upon. Our communication abilities, or lack there of, should be a major concern as for it influences many aspects of our lives negatively. It causes conflicts with family and friends, and majorly with those of the opposite sex. From a global perspective, poor communication can result in problems past our fixing. Change in behavior is the first step to better communication. After all, “Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak. Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.” (Winston Churchill)

References:

Hemingway, E. (2006). Hills like white elephants In T. R. Arp (Ed.), Story and Structure (pp. 210-215). Boston: Thomas Wadsworth.